Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in francis olalla antonio's LiveJournal:

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Friday, January 28th, 2005
2:31 am	so what now.... last december my mother sent me for a new round of psychological tests. this is one of her ways to make her feel better; she is doing something. today, we had an appointment with the psychologist to discuss the results. the results, i summarize as this: on average the subject had an above average performance. though there is a large discrepancy between nonverbal and verbal test. she, the psychologist, surmised that there may be a learning disability. the learning disability may have been masked by the exceptionally high intelligence. i believe the paper said very superior. she believes that i may be gifted. i have moderately narcissistic tendencies. did this change anything? what did this information benefit me? this is akin to telling a prisoner sentenced to twenty years who served thirty years that s/he is innocent. it does not make me feel better. it does not make it any easier. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 25th, 2005
8:28 am	neglect this journal has been sorely neglected over the few months, perhaps years. this may change as i may place a collection of short stories of high school. (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 3rd, 2004
1:39 pm	harry potter to say that the present installment of harry potter reeked would be an understatement. i had eagerly anticipated this installment as it was made by a director i liked. (he made the underrated great expectations and y tu mama tambien.) and the book was the best among the series as well. one of the thing one would immediately notice is the change in the set. to think they mentioned that this would remain unchanged. instead of the already familiar field of first two movies, we see a hillside. the griffindor room also changes. the entrance to the rooms is now in stairwell. a previously unnoticed courtyard that is reminicent of great expectations and a clock tower two major structures that seems to be impossible to forget had it been in the first two films. there are some scenes between hermione, ron and harry that reminds be of y tu mama tambien. (this lends credence to my theory that this series would end with harry falling in love with hermione, who falls for ron. in frustration, harry develops hatered from mudbloods and follows voldemorts path. the next series would feture ron and hermione's son.) (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 1st, 2004
12:15 pm	noble sacrifice i can not in good conscience quit smoking. after a rather hasty desicion to quit smoking, i began thinking of the poor topless gypy girl carmen rolling cigars and cigarettes. i'd rather not think that these girls would lose their jobs. everybody knows what happened to carmen. i a perfectly willing to sacrifice my lungs for the sake of these people. ps: i'm also thinking of the farmers; it is just that topless farmers do not seem to illicit the same amount of pity as the other. pps: what about soil erosion? if farmers have nothing to plant in the fields, the topsoil will be stripped. (humm, stripped.) ppps: if simon, from AI, runs for president i'll vote for him. he promised to reintroduce smoking in airplanes. long haul flights can be hard, really hard. pppp: i have faith in medicine. cloned lungs should be available in ten years. (cross your fingers. (Comment on this)
2:22 am	more smoking just had a cigarette. maybe i'll quit a bit later. ps: i have not had any alcohol in three months. some how it doesn't make me feel better (Comment on this)
2:13 am	filipino world class what the fuck is with this crap about filipinos being world class. if anything it sound like world crass. we can't go on trying to be as good as other countries or nationalities. if anything, we need to be as good as we can possibly be and make a class entirely our own. (Comment on this)
1:49 am	limb extension surgery this rather shallow. i first heard of this treatment from my cousin. he had polio and had it to lengthen his afflicted leg ease walking. years later, it would apear as a footnote in a rather unpopular movie gattaca. where the character needed to be taller to assume another's identity. this was the first inkling i had that this could be used cosmetically. then there was a time article about its popularity in china. where there were height requirements for lucrative jobs. and its been gnawing at me how would one feel if he were taller. i'm not short; but neither am i tall. (5'8) i started researching the topic. it was discovered in russia. where the apparatus for the LES was used to treat the injured soldiers after the war. initially it was used to shorten limbs. but, a mistake showed that i could lengthen limbs. it remained in russia because of the cold war. some european doctors, italians i believe, was able to learn the procedure. and spread to the united states. initially it was for cases like my cousin's. it costs between $3,000 to 100,000 depending on where you have it done. pain is minimal but constant. painkillers may be provided but discouraged. recovery takes six monthes to a year. on average gain is three inches. i should be discouraged. it's impractical. yet, i can not seem to get the line in the movie. and to paraphrase: i wonder how it feels to be three inches closer to the stars. ps: i wonder still (Comment on this)
1:35 am	smoking i have been smoking regularly for the past eight years. (the anniversary is about to come up, i started smoking some time june first year first college.) i don't really smoke as much, less than a pack a day. but lately, i have been noticing some differences in my athletic performance. (it use to take me fifteen minutes to walk a mile; now, it takes twice that time.) i guess i'm quiting. ps: i hope the cigarette girls would be able to live without me. its hard to quit when one remembers paz vega as the cigarette girl. i would not want to be responsible for what happens to her. i need to see the uncut movie. (Comment on this)
Friday, March 5th, 2004
12:55 am	fpj for president i am tired of the manner in which campaigning for a political position is conducted in the philippines. i am tired of the slogans. i am tired of the mud slinging. i am tired of the same people. why then am i voting for the least qualified candidate that has nothing going for him but his popularity as a movie actor? i have not fallen for the slogans either side is pushing. i do not believe that he can be as clean as his handlers insist. in fact i know that he is not clean. nor am i falling for the idea that he is an idiot. on a side note: i refuse to vote for the candidates that calls him an imbecile. i of the opinion that it takes one to know one. especially those that display their diplomas. these are the people whose learning usually ended the day they left uni. i am voting for this person because i respect the right of people to make a mistake. in all likelyhood his presidency shall be one of our bigest mistakes. for the longest time, elections in the country have been a farce such that the voting public has not been given the time to mature. give them their chance to fail. maybe we may learn a bigger lesson. we have a strong country. a president does not make or break the nation. if everybody excerted effort to make this country great with or without help from its leaders it will become great. (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 18th, 2004
3:03 am	quite a bit i was walking home to school and lit a cigarette. for some reason, i started pondering about human mortality. my teacher keeps giving me lectures on the hazards of smoking. and its the new year. i always evaluate my life during this time. don't interpret this the wrong way, i shall not stop smoking in the foreable future. in all likelyhoodgiven my health history and my families as well , i would die of nonsmoking related disease. it struck me how no cigarette company has every seemed to capitalize on this. an tv advert ran through my head: the music starts with a steady simple drum beat. camera follows a man's feet as he walks. the beat becomes more complicated as more men's feet join the shot. trumpets. the beat and the feet stop. camera moves back. subtitles: any last requests. here there are two possibilities. possibility number one: advert by anti death penalty advovates and cigarette companies, the man is offered a cigarette which he declines. (focus on the cigarette pack) other men move away. subtitles: ready aim fire. music stops. man dramatically falls. subtitle: Government Warning: Cigarette Smoking Kills. Black out. text: the government does too. possibility number two: the man accepts the cigarette and takes long deep leisurely drags. he finishes. men possition themselves to fire at him and fire. music stops. dramatic fall. flash the government warning. then text: at least he had a cigarette. think about it. when a smoker is dying of tobacco related illness. he doesn't think of his family. or the great things he should accomplish. all he wants most of the time is one last drag off a cigarette. (Comment on this)
Friday, August 22nd, 2003
6:59 pm	review of LXG review I cannot help feeling a little bit piqued with a movie review published today at the Philippine star on the league of extraordinary gentlemen. Whoever wrote the piece is functionally illiterate, that is probably the reason why he can not seem to connect the characters with creations of notable authors such as mark twain, sir Arthur conan doyle, h. rider haggard, oscar wilde, robet lewis Stevenson or jules verne. I would think he would have encountered some of these characters from cartoons as a child He even believes that allan quartermain is based on Indiana jones. I think there must be at least a gap of half a century between their creations. Since he fails to see the connection, he believes that there is a lack of character development. The character development is the deviation between the book characters and the movie character. he, the reviewer, finds the one liners of the movie to be a little stiff. He fails to realize the lines set up the next scene. For example, in the arrival allan quartermain in London the recruiting agent comments on the lack of speed of his travel from Africa. Quartermain’s repartee alludes to around the world in eighty days of jules verne. Captain nemo, another creation of verne appears in the next scene. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 12th, 2003
3:10 am	did i forget to mention... on the subject of new laws we would pass, (again the royal plural) i shall have umbrela licensing and laws. i have never been failed to be peeved by people (of the philippines) during sunny or rainny days. (in case you are unfamiliar with the culture. umbrelas are used as parasols during warm sunny days aside from the usaul rains. especially by old people or more incultureated people. as good nutrition and genes are a factor these people always seem to have the pionts of their umbrellas poking at my face. in my case the genes are good as my great aunts are typically above the norm of 5 feet six inches; but, the years of suffering an eating disorder has left me with the rather pathetic height of somewhere in the are of five feet seven to eight inches.) therefore only people with the requisite height (say somewhere in the area of five ten above.) shall have the legal use of the paraphanalia as well as have these raised at its proper angle and elevation as to consider the convenience of the greater good of the populance. i don't think there is a statistic on the number of umbrella related injuries. i believe there has to be significant. besides, eye sight is important. i am sure that the populance would agree. footnote for the same reason i have halted the use of an umbrella. aside from the reasons stated above: one can not get a decent black (either cotton or silk) umbrella with a wooden frame. surely one does not want to suffer the gaudy colours the department stores strive to inflict upon my aestetic value and use a metal frame to be akin to a host of lighting rods connected with the much conductive water puddles. i shall add on the bill of rights( under my benevolent rule there shall be things as human rights. to be regarded as we please or ...) has no body noticed that pedestrians seem to be horridly ill used. environmentally distructive automobiles encroach upon their areas. ( well, the intelligent MMDA chairperson has seem it fit to remove sidewalk vendors.) the bottons to activate pedestrian crossing on intersections are not wired. we do think that if it were labeled "display only" this person would not have waited for half an hour for the light to turn green. why do they place crossing or in local parlance PED XING as the most inconvinient places with smelly underprivilaged of all ages choose to inflict their delightful aroma. we might as well advertise the places as the parisian equivalent of their underground. (withought the mass transport. the rash of turning major intersections into round abouts have not helped either. how the fuck is a person to cross wqithout jaywalking? is this our pedestrian version of the arc of triumph? if you get hit its your own fault. footnote: i comment the really old man assisting traffic since i was in grade school as he is one of the few traffic enforcers that think of the pedestrian. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 5th, 2003
10:50 pm	i'd settle for the books (Comment on this)
10:45 pm	adendum of yeah i'll mike nicer buildings than the roxas toilet bowl or the the graveyard known as the film centre of the philippines. (Comment on this)
9:03 pm	vote for... elections shall be coming up next year; and, with the events at oakwood(can someone donate a plaque or statue to mark the historical event? leave it to the philippines to make a mall a historical location. call it the magdalo square, extremely nationalistic.) i can't help but put my two de-valued centavos worth. i should be president/ dictator/ father of the nation, or simply EL. EL can be interpreted as a reference to our colonial spanish past as the article before masculine nouns. or the judeo christian reference to god. (for example, gabriel means the voice of god, or michael means like god.) i can settle on EL PADRE; but, that would give images of the catholic friars mating with the natives. (personally, i find nothing wrong about this as my family is a result of such a mating; the "natives" though prefer to feel offended as i guess they were not chosen by the friar.) i would first of all forgive everybody their illegal acts. after all if we allowed them then it must mean we were all part of the crime. on the forgiveness note, i think we(i am using the royal/imperial/republic plural now.) should speak with all the currupt people and allow them to confess. we would get the money or goods and place them in an investment company similar to that of singapore. a percentage of the earnings shall then be given to these repentant people for returning the money. if they are proven to hold some of the money, death and forefiture of all the legal and illegal property. goverment corporations or in our term conglomerates should be the bench mark of the industry they are involved in. at the same time they should be trailblazers in industries needed by the country. innovation shall be part of government culture and federal culture. taxation shall be simplified. there shall be income tax for corporations enities. other taxes shall be property taxes, environmental taxes, and importation taxes. taxes shall not be merely monetary. products are part of the tax. allocation of goods is part of the problem with the economy. we would simplify all laws. make them simple such that there are no loop holes and make them just and merciful. at the same time i would impliment what is called the mad dog rule. everyone may comit a certain number of mistakes, one for example, and be totally unpunished but reprimanded. after the warning, if the person choses not mend his or her ways. kill the bastard of course some effort shall be made to make the punishment fit the crime. for example a hit and run. the person shall be run over. or more mercifully, if the person disobeys road rules his car shall be taken away. have to think about that, i may kill all my voters. people within government shall have stricter rules of conduct and more rigid enforcement of rules. areas of the country that have been found shall be adhere to the general rule of law shall be allowed to have their own local governments. we will try to keep this within the cultural lines(i.e. ilocos, pampanga, tagalog.) to allow greater regional development of economies, environment, and culture. taxes from cars shall be placed in the more democratic and cost effective modes of transport such as mass transportation(i.e. trains and boats) while, were on the topic of boats, the development of the shipping industry(building, development, and design) is of paramount importance. the country is afterall composed of islands. i shall remove the separation of church and state. as much of the friction in the country comes from this relationship, we aim to break the cycle. on the topic of birth control. if we can not control the rate of birth we can withold health care. increase death rates! catholic priest are really citzens of the vatican city. deport them. do they have papers? i shall demolish land reform. families that own land rightfully have a right to it. to quote a priest the difference with the haves and have nots is did and did nots. but, fair treatment of the economically challenged shall be enforced. education is the only way to make the poor more economically mobile; not by burdening the wioth debts on lands they do not deserve. cities shall be planned in a rational manner. it shall not be this cancerous concrete inflicted upon a helpless environment. places shall be placed within the city, not the way of shipping the out to provinces without jobs. salaries and wages shall allow people to live decently. this is more so with government personel. they shall need no excuse to practice graft and curruption. education shall be centralized and regulated strictly. the system shall be revamped. the facilities shall be spread out over the country. no longer shall private schools be allowed to cover large areas of residents. (i.e. ateneo de manila has students from as far as alabang. the schools shall have to only have students within a set niegborhood. exemptions shall be satellite schools that have above average students and boarding schools.) universities shall be moved to a satellite towns of the national capital(laguna bay area). the military shall be cleaned out. it shall be used as a organisation to show the benevolence of the govenment(i.e. me/EL). it will be used not as fighting force but as examples of exemplary citizens as well as aiding the citizenry(dare i say my children) in public works. on the topics of the communist and the muslims, we have this idea. the government shall be given areas akin to the kibutz of israel. the muslims shall be allowed to self govern themselves. if they are not able the the government shall step in. at no time shall be allowed to separate themselves. we shall stop the international debt payments as well as stop budget overspending. taxes shall go to appropriate areas. for example cars taxes(environmental tax) shall go to environment friendly transportation and energy. trade agreements shall be recinded and be rediscussed. there is still need for trade. but, part of the treaties shall involve the exchange of personally chosen professors with each country traded with. similarly, an exchange of students on all levels shall be part of the trade treaties. special treaties shall be made with former colonial influences. they shall need to establish special universities with the best faculty members. a law on intellectual property of any filipino shall be passed. after the lapse of of the personal or corporate copyright it shall become state property. the three major islands shall constitute autonimous region. with its own prime ministers and ability to self govern themselves. special areas shall remain within dictatorial/imperial/royal control: metro manila, metro baguio, davao city and some idealic island in visayas. this gives opportunity to redevelop these areas and buid new rational cities. aside from the indefinite rule (i doubt my children shall inherit the possition; personally, i (i am no longer using imperial/royal plural as this is personal) am against it. i would want to have some say on the mater though) on personal gain, i shall have to be given a copy (hard bound first editions or the next best if impossible signed by the author as well) of any book brought into the philippines. a place to house the books and my family in reasonable style. some money to give my children as proof of my work well done. some of the property may pass on to my family. i think my children should also work for a living. but, they do need something to work with. i hope to retire with enough time to read most of the books. so there is a definte timeframe for retirement. (i hope books shall still be printed during then.) as for family companies, i don't believe that they should not be allowed to thrive. they should not have unfair advantage by association. transparency shall be paramount. in sum; i shall be antipoor; but pro progress. i shall be anti trees; but pro forest. i shall be anti law; but pro justice. i shall retire an withnothing more than what a man wants when he retires except books not many would want. would you vote for someone like me. (oh yeah can't sing or dance) (Comment on this)
8:39 pm	endings i doubt anybody my age still reads books made for children. sometimes it can be comforting to read something you read some years back. i have been reading these books by susan cooper, dark is rising, composed of five volumes. i basically breezed through the your books without any any difficulty. almost like, a road one has passed so many times that one does not really look at each shop or house; but, notices the tiny changes or detail previously noted as one walks by the cobblestone worn smooth by so many feet among mine. i can smell the musty and neglected books upon a shelf nobody sees anymore. i remember the moment when the letters that use to dance around my eyes queue down and make show pictures rivaling any of the masters. i hesitate. i dally. i would open the last book and turn the first few pages. and close it again. never to read the words. i never want it to end. as long as the book is never read, i shall be upon the streets looking at the contents of the shops; peering at the houses, great and small, looking at the people and seeing a split second of the lives captured withing the look. maybe, one day i would open the last book try to make sense of the dancing letters. and go down the road see another road my feet desire to tread upon. maybe. maybe. i would see the end. everybody sees the end someday. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 2nd, 2003
11:03 pm	manipulation well, i haven't tried my hand at it for a while. not, this big. over all i say that the op was a success. last night, i had two friends, who haven't had the courage to reveal their feeling. i was with them for some time. finally, the talk on drugs came up. (i'm relatively clean; typically i use prescriptions.) i used all my skill to convince them to drop some e. apparently, i was so good that these friends, rushed out and got some. when we dropped, (i was suppose to palm the tab; but, my friends made sure i swallowed. oh yeah, that is the first time i used the substance) the two immediately felt the effects. soon they started confessing their feelings. the only problems were there were only three of us and i was alone for most of the night. and i broke a promise never to use illegal chemical substances. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 19th, 2003
11:50 am	nothing well... (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 30th, 2003
10:29 pm	you learn new things all the time i come from a great school. (i meant that in a non sarcastic manner.) and yesterday i learned something new. we read two papers presented to a very esteemed university. paper one: philippine psychology and farming. 1. farmers are not lazy. just because you always see them dozing off under the tree does not show lack of industry. but, did you know that they start their day early, and end it late. 2. farmers are resourceful. they find alternatives to expensive fertilizer and pesticide. 3. farmers are not superstitious. eventhough, they stab at plants and scream at them. there has been evidence that their actions have some benefits. 4. farmers can adopt technology. as long as their "scientifically proven" superstitions are not conpromised. 5. and oh yeah, the cincher. . . farmers have dreams. all they need is ten thousand pesos. they want to build a cement and hollow blocks (take note) house like don carlos! paper two: philippine psychology and education 1. children drop out of school because they are dirty. A. they only have only two ensembles. B. their teachers do not tell their parents. 2. teachers suck. 3. we remove from the curriculum all foreign influnces. A. teach them universal knowledge. - fire, weaving, etc. afterall no one has claim over which culture it came from. i'm glad we can use wheels. my life is soooooooooo enriched! (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 5th, 2002
12:05 am	damn i have not been updating for a long time in hope no one will read my journal anymore. well, i guess most people have stopped. besides, i need to vent. man, is my teacher stupid. ok, maybe not stupid, but dumb. ok first of all, its a class on fucking philippine society. and what do we tackle? think and grow rich, power of positive thinking, superlearning 2000, and how to win friends and influence people. duh. may i point out the discustingly inconsistent accent he inflicts on his listeners. moreover, its taught by some priest with a definite faith problem. he has turned muslim. not to attract the faith; but, specifically his faith. religion has to at least improve people, somewhat. is it not one of the ideological perpetuating institutions. any way i think he got all the horrid things from both religions and but them together into the monstrosity of his personal relationship with god. some snippets of his wisdom: how can man not believe in god? reason being, a computer did not make itself. furthermore, a computer is not better than its creator or creators. such logic has more pitfalls than he believes. it relegates the deity to a mere absentee landlord. computers theoretically last longer than humans. if there was a god then s/he/it could be dead following the same logic. what the hell is it about atheism anyway? the term is positively offensive. the term is closely related to anti thesis. how the fuck can you say there is no god when you acknowledge the idea of his existence by denying him. for people who took the dumb ass indoctrination class of liberation theology, they should understand the dilemma as well as arguments against my logic. not all people who believe in man have similar beliefs. its as dumb as saying all christians, buddhists, muslims think the same. another one of his favourite topics is homosexuality. the repetitive comments on the preference gives credence to the priestly and arabic preference for little boys. he brings in psuedo knowledge on psychology by putting in jung: anima and animus. i like jung. but, duh. if one postulates that an individual contains both feminine and masculine qualities only that one is repressed or redirected by society. is it not only logical and healthier to shagg everything in sight. man is not composed by only male and female aspects, there is dead and living, mobile and inert. fuck the dead too. while your at it, fuck the chair, the table, ... let us go unto the antique reading list. i was in shock that bookstores carry these books still. on the content of the books my reactions are: 1. money is not everything. 2. desire is bad sinful to use a catholic framework. but, money can buy indulgences. i have not yet written the critiques on the other chapters but i'll post my reactions on the chapters i've covered. damn, john mayers on the radio again! off to run through the halls of my high school. . . (Comment on this)